One More Orbit
Sunday again, and somehow it feels like it got here faster than usual.
Tomorrow’s my birthday, which is a weird feeling. Not in a bad way, just in that quietly reflective way where you realise a whole year’s gone by and you’re not quite the same person anymore.
The Prusa’s printing happily away, and I’ve just put the Ender back together. No reason other than the classic tinkerer’s hope that maybe this time it’ll behave. Simple, repetitive projects like that are comforting, that remind me of the constants in life. Or rather, the things that feel like constants.
Because let’s be honest, most “constants” aren’t really constant. Not in the scientific sense, and definitely not in life. But they’re not quite variables either. They’re somewhere in between. Maybe that’s why they matter so much; they give you just enough structure to keep going, but enough flexibility to adapt when you need to.
Tomorrow marks another full orbit around the sun. Feels weirdly fast, but I guess time’s funny like that, a constant in name, but never really in feel. Some things in life are true constants, others are variables, and then there are those odd in-between things — the ones you can’t really define but always feel like they’re just… there. Like how she is. Or like how I’m still printing, still tinkering, still dodging PE by fixing the school’s broken vacuum cleaner. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine. And honestly, I’m doing better than I was six months ago. That’s gotta count for something.
I used to think everything had to be either stable or chaotic — one or the other. But I think I’ve come to appreciate the overlap, the grey area. School right now is the perfect kind of chaos. Predictably unpredictable. Loud, busy, a little ridiculous, but it keeps me moving. It gives me contrast.
And in the middle of it all, there are people, like her, who aren’t constants in the strictest sense, but aren’t variables either. She’s just there. Not always in focus, not always in conversation, but still solid. Still present. Not defining my day-to-day, but not fading either. And that kind of presence is oddly comforting.
It’s funny thinking back to who I was half a year ago. I’ve changed — not in big, dramatic ways, but enough that I notice. I’m more grounded. A little more patient. Still rebuilding printers at night, still finding metaphors where none are needed… but, really, genuinely doing better.
Anyway — sorry for the reflective ramble. I’ve been writing this in bits throughout the day, so it’s a little fragmented, but that kind of suits the mood. Here’s to another orbit. Another week. And maybe even a printer that doesn’t jam mid-print.
73,
Daniel